


Bigby Shorts

by megan_rose



Category: The Wolf Among Us
Genre: Broadway, Drunk Scenes, Funny, Gen, Mermaids, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-08 11:02:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8842102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megan_rose/pseuds/megan_rose
Summary: A compilation of miscellaneous adventures our good ol' friend, Bigby Wolf, goes through. Please pray for him, he goes through a lot of shit lol.





	1. The Bride

**Author's Note:**

> If this is the first time you're reading my stuff, hello and thanks for checking this out! I hope you enjoy it! If you like this, check out my other fanfictions like my Undertale series or my OC Christmas challenge!  
> If you're a returning reader who's seen I posted something new, hello again! I know updates have been slow, and I apologize. I have a long explanation of all the shit that restricted my writing; it'll be in chapter ten of Magic Like No Other. But enjoy this comical short story while waiting for that (I'm really hoping to have chapter ten out by some time this week, keep your eyes peeled).
> 
> Ok so I got inspiration to do this from two sources. Creative writing: I got prompts that inspired some of these ideas. And my dear friend fallentale: they're like my main source of inspiration and motivation, and they're always giving me great ideas. (follow them and read their stuff if you haven't yet!)  
> Without further ado, enjoy Bigby's torture.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The bride was not pretty, nor was she very young..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for this is the chapter summary. It was a prompt I got in creative writing. Then I was texting fallentale in class (cause we're such rebels right?) and they suggested using Bigby in it. Then I workshopped it, got criticism, and here's the end result! This was so much fun, and I enjoyed writing this a lot! Enjoy!

“Tinder?” the sheriff’s voice growled. He stared at the app confusingly on his phone. He looked back to his companion, Snow. She nodded. “Why the fuck are we using a dating app to catch an assaulter?”

“This man meets up with these women through Tinder and preys on them,” she answered, flipping through the documents in her folder. “Or at least that’s how the victims explained it when I interviewed them.”

“So we’re going to do basically what he does and trick him through Tinder?” the sheriff confirmed. Snow nodded. “Well then. How do we start?”

“We have to, uh, make a profile first,” Snow answered. “I can take care of that if you want, Bigby.” She snatched her friend’s phone from his hands and began typing away. The sheriff, Bigby, peered over her shoulder.

“Christine Norman,” Bigby read. “Nice name.”

“Thanks,” she said, her voice bland. She was sour about the situation in general, and it was sad that it was going to take catfishing to catch the criminal. But if that was what she’d have to do to catch the fucker, she was willing to. Snow proceeded to fill out basic information, all white lies, and take a selfie to use as a profile picture.

“Now, how do we know that shithead will fall directly into our trap?” Bigby questioned, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it in his mouth.

“He preys on women based on how they look, and not to sound cocky or anything but I think I look good enough to fit his category,” Snow admitted. Bigby stared at Snow’s face and shrugged. “I’ll lure him in a conversation and convince him to marry me as soon as possible. I think I could woo him enough to do it. We’ll set a date, choose a chapel, and catch him at the wedding.”

“Ooh, and if we do that it’ll be in front of all his friends and family,” Bigby hummed after blowing some smoke out of his mouth. “We’ll expose his ass to everyone who cares about him. I love it.” Snow faked a smile as she got to the end of filling all the information for her profile.

“Now, what is his name…” Snow mumbled to herself as she flipped through papers. “Ah, I found it.” She typed the man’s name into the search for Tinder, giving her one result.

“His username is peewee46?” Bigby muttered. “I hate this jackass even more.” Not feeling like laughing, Snow clicked on the profile and swiped right. She opened up her first message to him.

“Hey, you’re cute. Let’s talk asap.” Snow smiled in approval as she sent the message. Moments later Bigby’s phone dinged, meaning the guy messaged back.

“Hey gorgeous. Sure we can chat. ;) What’s up?”

Snow typed away, immediately piecing together a good reason to get married. “I need someone to get married to. If I don’t get married within two weeks, I’ll be sent far away from my family to be sold to some man I don’t even know. Please, you’ve got to help me. My family and I would hate for this to happen.”

“Hmm, creative,” Bigby noted. Snow shrugged as his phone dinged again.

“Lol, what’s the difference between marrying a stranger and marrying me?”

Snow bit her lip, being caught in a pickle. Then she snapped her fingers and typed away again. “If I marry you, I’ll still be with family. Plus, you’re probably more decent-looking than any stranger. ;)”

She shuddered as she sent the text. She felt dirty flirting with a man like him, but she knew it’d be worth it.

“True, you got me there. Ok, I’ll marry you. Give me a date and location for the wedding so that I can invite friends and family, and I’ll be there.”

“We’ve got him,” Snow whispered, smiling. Bigby grinned, the thought of capturing the assaulter satisfying his mind even more. “How soon should we make this?”

“Hmm… let’s give him a week,” Bigby answered, “to let him prepare for the ‘time of his laugh’.” Snow laughed, a little bitterness in her laugh, as she typed the date and a chapel for the man. She then gave the phone back to Bigby.

“Wait, wait, so how are we going to catch him?” Bigby questioned. “How will we sneak into the wedding?” Snow froze.

“I didn’t think of that,” she muttered. “Give me a minute.” The room was silent as Snow thought and Bigby continued to smoke. Snow then snapped her fingers, breaking the silence.

“We’ll sneak someone in as the bride,” Snow said. “That way we’ll have someone in there to literally catch him and make sure he can’t escape.”

“Okay, that sounds like a good idea,” Bigby agreed. “So who will we disguise as the bride?” Bigby stared at Snow, waiting for an answer. She stared back at him, a smile on her face. It took him a minute, but when he figured it out he groaned and growled and sputtered various curses.

“I fucking hate this job sometimes.”

 

The bride was not pretty, nor was she very young. Only two people knew that secret though. As the soon to-be bride looked up at the white chapel where she’d be wed, she mentally prepared herself. She observed each spot on the chapel that was peeling with paint. She noticed the religious carvings covering the place too. She sighed, pondering on what would go down in the next few minutes. The minute she revealed her secret to her soon to-be husband, he wouldn’t be the same again. The bride took the veil and covered her hairy face, making sure not a wrinkle or hair from her beard could be spotted.

“Let’s do this,” her raspy voice told herself as a prep before opening the heavy, yet beautifully carved, double doors to the main hallway of the chapel.

Cloaked in white from head to toe, she walked down the aisle with a bouquet of roses in her large hands and her face still covered. She avoided making eye contact through her veil with anyone in the aisles, already knowing she didn’t know anybody there. Her grip on the bouquet tightened when she reached the end of the hall, standing face-to-face with her soon-to-be husband. He smiled at her with patience and grace. Seeing the man smile, she grimaced. She shuddered as she observed each of his physical qualities. Awkward smile, hazel eyes that shone with greed, combed-back dirty blonde hair layered with grease and hair gel.

She despised that man, but he obviously didn’t hate her as she saw him lick his lips with enthusiasm.

 _“From the second that I take that veil out of your face, I’ll love you for all eternity,”_ the groom thought. His fingers tingled with excitement and anxiety, with one hand holding onto the diamond-studded ring and the other dripping with sweat. He only saw her once, but he knew she was _the one_ for him. Thinking of that made a mischievous smile appear on his face. He hid the evil in his grin with pure happiness, fooling his friends and family watching him.

He looked over at the priest, who bobbed his head at him. The man squirmed with glee, starting to reach his hands out to take the veil out of his bride’s face. He couldn’t wait to reveal her shimmering, black hair and her murky, brown eyes that reflected a thousand adventures. He couldn’t wait to place his lips on her soft, lipstick-stained lips. Just thinking of it swarmed his stomach with butterflies.

“You look so beautiful, my darling,” the man whispered. He pulled back the veil and gasped. He fell backwards onto the floor, petrified at the sight of his bride. The friends and family members in the aisles followed, gasps and shrieks of horror echoing off the walls.

“Wha-” the groom began. “Who… _what_ are you?!” His hazel eyes filled with terror and regret as they met the glowing, yellow eyes of his new bride.

As the creature grew and grew, the seams of the dress ripped, revealing the monster’s furry legs and arms. The face of the monster appeared, showing off a brown and hairy face, sharp teeth, and pointy ears. Snarls and growls escaped from the monster’s mouth, drool dripping down his face. The other people in the chapel, horrified for their lives, escaped the monster’s might. The groom, however, could not escape the wrath of the transforming wolf.

“Perry Jasper,” the wolf growled, grabbing the groom. His claws to dug into his skin, making the groom flinch with pain. The groom, Perry, attempted to speak, but his words mashed into stutters. “You are under arrest for the assault of over 30 women through Tinder.”

“I… what?” Perry gasped. “I did no such thing!”

“Are you sure?” the wolf huffed, blowing angry air into his face. “Because I’m pretty sure I have well over 200 documents of evidence to back up my statement.” Before the wolf could say any more, a woman kicked open the doors. Perry gasped when she saw who it was.

The woman from the Tinder profile picture. His actual bride.

Christine Norman.

“Recognize me?” she giggled, obviously fuming with rage. Snow ripped Perry out of the wolf’s grasp, only to put him in handcuffs.

“Shit,” Perry muttered.

“Anything you say will be used against you in court,” Snow snapped. She led him outside, where a police car awaited him.

Snow returned to the chapel after escorting the horrific criminal to his rightfully earned place in the backseat of the police car. She found Bigby, tired and breathing heavily, on his hands and knees. She laughed as he growled, looking down at him.

“You did a good job, Wolf,” Snow snickered. Bigby sighed in exhaustion. “I told you going all wolf on him would work. And you thought the plan wouldn’t work at all.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bigby growled. “Let’s get out of here.”


	2. Drunken Bets and Mermaids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't mix alcohol and dares. It may result with you dancing in a mermaid suit on Broadway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for this chapter came from ThesCon. On the second night, we went to see Peter and the Starcatcher. And I have a lot of respect for the actors who kept going and never broke character, but there were so many technical difficulties that it was hard to watch. My best friend fallentale and I did get a kick out of the first scene in Act 2. If you've read my OC Christmas Challenge: Day Two, start making connections. ;)  
> Also, the OC Avarice does not belong to me. She rightfully belongs to fallentale, who gave me permission to use her in this chapter (and probably in future shorts as well). Go and check out their The Wolf Among Us fics Banshee and Grip, which features Avarice in it too! And also check out their other fics cause everything they write is top-notch quality... just sayin'.  
> Without further ado, here's the next short!

“Another shot of vodka,” a slurred voice demanded. The bartender sighed angrily, slamming a nearly-empty bottle of vodka on the table. She took her shot glass and poured the remaining portion of the clear alcohol into the glass. She placed it back in front of the customer, who immediately downed it.

“Have you drank that entire bottle?” the man next to her questioned, also slurring his words.

“Shut the fuck up Bigby, you drank straight from the bottle,” the woman snapped, exhaling from satisfaction afterwards from enjoying the chills going down her throat. “Um, what other alcohol do you have, Holly?”

“Tequila, whisky, rum, gin-” the bartender, Holly, began.

“Oh gin, fuck yeah!” the woman exclaimed. “Hit me up with a glass of that!” The bartender brought out a full container of gin and poured a glass of it, sliding it to the woman.

“Will this go on your tab Avarice, or am I going to have to pay for _this_ too?” Holly snarled, obviously unhappy with her. Avarice ignored her, drinking half of the glass before stopping with wide eyes.

“Fuck, that shit is strong!”

“Strong? Hm… I need a glass of that too,” Bigby said.

“You haven’t even finished your shots of vodka yet,” Holly growled. Bigby stared over at his two untouched shots, grimacing at them.

“I can finish them for you, Bigby,” Avarice hiccuped, reaching out for one of the shots.

“No, those are my shots!” Bigby growled. Avarice crossed her arms and frowned.

“Either drink them or give them to me, but do something because I fucking hate looking at them,” Avarice snapped. “They’re mocking me.”

“Then don’t look at them,” Bigby groaned, rubbing his face angrily.

“Fuck off, sheriff!” Avarice yelled.

“Alright, I’m done with you fuckers,” Holly sighed. She walked out from behind the bar, leaving to go to the break room.

“Sweet, now I can serve myself,” Avarice giggled, a hiccup escaping out of her mouth after. She jumped over the counter and landed behind the bar, searching through the shelves and cabinets for any sort of alcohol to satisfy her further cravings. The tension between the two was obviously high and rapidly growing, and Bigby’s drunken mind searched for something to say.

“Ava-”

“ _Don’t_ call me that, you’ve downgraded to Avarice.” She popped up with a bottle of fresh beer. “Actually, I take that back. You’ve downgraded further down than that.”

“Look, I’m sorry-”

“You’re not fucking sorry,” Avarice growled. She opened the bottle and took a swig of it. “You’re not sorry for everything that’s happened to me. You just want me to get better from this trauma already so that I can go back to killing Cerene for you. Well, guess what? It’s not going to be that simple. So leave me be.”

The room was back to being silent, with the exceptions of Avarice or Bigby drinking and hiccupping.

“Avarice, what do I have to do for you to accept my apology?” Bigby begged. “Please, we need to work together if we want to get any further in this mess. So what do I need to do?” Avarice stopped and thought, searching through her fuzzy mind for a solution.

“A bet,” Avarice giggled.

“What kind of bet?” Bigby grimaced, dissatisfied.

“Whoever becomes sober last between the two of us has to do an awful, embarrassing dare that’ll haunt them forever,” Avarice explained. She jumped back over the counter, sitting next to Bigby again.

“What does this have to do with anyth-”

“And the dare is,” Avarice interrupted, “that whoever doesn't get sober first has to go to the heart of New York, Broadway, to perform in one of the most humiliating scenes known to musical theatre: Act Two, Scene One in _Peter and the Starcatcher_.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Bigby stopped. “We’re going to _leave_ Fabletown? That's too dangerous.”

“It'll be one night Bigby, it’s not like we’re running away,”

“But still-”

“Are you in or not, wolfie?”

Avarice chugged the remains of her beer as she waited for the sheriff's response. She eyed Bigby, observing the uncertainty in his eyes and the frown plastered across his lips. Avarice chuckled, rolling her gleaming eyes.

“I understand if you’re not _manly_ enough for the challenge.” The smirk on her face grew as she saw Bigby’s bushy eyebrows raise at the sudden statement. The uncertainty in his eyes changed to determination, and his frown turned into a grimace. His hand grazed over his two remaining shots. One by one, he threw his head back and washed the alcohol down his throat.

“I’m in, Banshee.”

 

“Hmm, _Peter and the Starcatcher_ ,” Avarice hummed, glancing across the names on her program. She sat down in a seat in the second row, kicking her feet up on the seat in front of her. She flipped through the pages, finding pictures of the cast and miniature biographies about them.

“Huh, she’s cute,” she commented to herself, looking at a picture of the lead. “But she’s the kind of cute where she’s just aesthetically pleasing.” Avarice took a few more seconds to skim through her biography. “Sagax Braxtons, hm, that’s a badass name.”  
Avarice proceeded to flip through pages, suddenly stopping at a special one. Her cackle escaped from her lips as her eyes fell upon the picture of who was playing Mermaid Molly.

“Bigby Wolf.”

The house lights dimmed, making the audience hush up. The large curtains began to raise slowly, gaining the attention of each person. Even Avarice, who wasn’t excited for the show until Act Two, couldn’t help herself from looking up at the stage glowing with stage lights.

 

Intermission came and passed, and Avarice yawned as she felt her eyes slouch with exhaustion. The show was boring, the lead actor seemed to be pained with swelling hives, and nobody in the sound crew seemed to know what they were doing. Mics popped and broke, light and sound cues were missed left and right, and nothing could be heard. This left everyone in the audience confused and a little cranky.

Avarice, however, was not cranky. She was excited. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she pulled open the camera. She knew she had to catch footage of what would occur on the stage during Act Two, Scene One.

The stage lights dimmed again and the curtains raised, making Avarice jump with glee. She hit the record button, giggling.

 _“Oh shit, now my laughing will get in the background,”_ Avarice thought. _“Actually, you know what? Fuck it.”_ Her eyes grew as large as saucers as she awaited for the anticipated scene to arrive.

The lights brightened the stage, revealing a group of middle-aged men in mermaid costumes and wigs. Immediately, the audience began to holler and chorus in laughs. Avarice followed with her mighty roars when she saw her good _friend_ , Bigby Wolf, in the center. Dressed up with a teal mermaid suit and a red wig, along with layers of blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick, he snarled when he heard the snickers.

“This is amazing,” Avarice whispered.

“You’re likely wond’ring what we’ve had to drink now,” Bigby sang, unenthusiastic. He and the other men began to dance around the stage, making strange poses and synchronized steps. Bigby, however, stuck out with a sore thumb with an expressionless face and unattempted dancing. “And you might think ‘now, they’ve gone too far.’ But something we should not have been exposed to we got too close to by swimming aft of Peter’s raft. And here we are. And it was starstuff from the skies that made each fish the lovely dish before your eyes.”

Avarice’s cackles filled the auditorium, causing her to earn a few evil eyes from Bigby while he was singing. She didn’t care though; she was enjoying every moment of the awful masterpiece.

“Who the hell is that singing?” Avarice heard a boy sitting behind her mutter. Sputters and choked-back laughter escaped out of her lips as her hollers and screams echoed off the walls once again. From that moment on, she didn’t focus much on the actual performance. She was too happy and in-the-moment to see all of Bigby’s awful dancing and singing.

 

“I’m glad you fucking liked it,” Bigby growled as he watched Avarice cackle all over again. He threw the wig off of his head and slammed it on the ground, making her fall onto the floor and hold her sides from pain.

“This is the best fucking day of my life!” Avarice sighed. “I got to see the sheriff himself as a fucking mermaid!”

“Alright, alright, let’s just get back to Fabletown,” Bigby muttered, grabbing one of Avarice’s arm and pulling her back onto her feet. He headed towards the exit of the theatre, hearing the clicking of Avarice’s heels behind him. Then they stopped.

“Hey, Bigby…” He turned around, seeing Avarice staring at the ground. “...Thanks. I really needed to see that. It helped me a little.” Taken aback by the genuine thanks, he paused for a moment. Then he smiled.

“Of course, Ava.”


End file.
